“What he did to Jackie did not start with physical abuse. It started with control.”
Jackie’s Law is named after Jackie Kadinger, whose story reflects the devastating impact coercive control can have on victims long before physical violence occurs. The law bears her name not only because of the tragedy of her death in August 2023, but because her experience reflects the reality faced by countless victims whose abuse begins long before anyone sees a bruise.
If this addition to Wisconsin’s domestic violence law had been in place, Jackie could have had a chance to protect herself. This law could have saved her life by giving her legal protection that did not exist at the time. Sharing Jackie’s story can help other victims recognize what coercive control is, and understand that this type of abuse takes hold before you fully understand what is happening to you.
Jackie was bright and beautiful inside and out. Her presence brought warmth and connection to those around her. Her greatest joy was her son, and she built her life around her love for him. Family was very important to her, and she cherished her time with all of them. To those who knew her best, Jackie was thoughtful, genuine, and deeply caring. She had a way of making people feel seen and valued, and when she met a stranger, she treated them like a friend. She carried herself with both strength and compassion. Her laugh was contagious, and she had a remarkable sense of humor. She had a love for animals and a deep care for people. She was deeply human, empathetic, and a free spirit.
Jackie’s life mattered. Her memory continues to matter. And her story is now part of a larger mission to bring awareness to the warning signs of coercive control and prevent future tragedies.
Her abuser did not begin with violence. He began with control. He isolated Jackie from her family, her friends, and her son. He disguised criticism as concern. He monitored her movements and her daily activities, inside and outside of the home. He controlled her access to transportation. He restricted and controlled her communication with the people she loved most.
The harm he caused reached beyond Jackie herself. Family members experienced threats, intimidation, fear, and manipulation. Those who loved her watched helplessly as someone they knew became more distant, more fearful, and less like the Jackie they had always known. We watched someone we loved change before our eyes, and we did not yet have a name for what was being done to her.
One of the most difficult realities to understand is that many victims feel trapped by fear, isolation, dependency, manipulation, and the gradual stripping away of their confidence and independence. They stay because coercive control changes how they see themselves and the world around them. It convinces victims that they are trapped, that things will get better, or that they have nowhere else to turn.
Like many victims of coercive control, Jackie’s experience began without visible physical injuries. For a long time there was no single incident that would have qualified her for a protective order under Wisconsin’s current law. But coercive control rarely stays still. It escalates. Over time the abuse intensified and did eventually become physical — and yet she had been in danger every day long before that point, in ways the law did not see and could not protect against.
Today, Jackie’s story is a powerful reminder that domestic violence is often much more than physical abuse. Her life and her experience have inspired the effort to ensure that coercive control is recognized, understood, and addressed before it escalates to tragedy.
Most importantly, it is about preventing other families from experiencing the loss that ours has endured. We cannot bring Jackie back. But we can honor her life by helping others recognize the signs, find support, and seek safety before it is too late.
This is Jackie’s legacy. This is why we fight for Jackie’s Law.
Written by Brenda Frasser, Jackie’s mother.